I'm safe here in a pale blue sky

Lyrics from Cranes [Pale Blue Sky]

Sorry for the weekend-long silence; my server was down, my provider was down – enforced radio silence. Whoops!

I’ve taken to looking over rss feeds for blog posts and articles that might pertain to my subject matter here, but I find that so many of them are either the same recommendations over and over, or very negatively-toned messages. Obviously, there’s a reason why some recommendations come up time and again, but I’m looking for new insight.

What has worked for me? Well, it’s been documented here that after my long struggle to handle my depression on my own, with positive thinking and diet and St. John’s Wort and many other things, I resorted to Cymbalta. I knew that at this point, and with my depression taking a turn beyond what I could handle on my own, it was the right time. I was lucky enough to find the right medicine for me on the first try; not everyone else is so fortunate, I know. I made sure it was the right step and med for me before I settled on it.

I take a very low dose, half the usually recommended one. [60 mg is pretty standard, I’m on 30mg] At first it made me feel giddy, then I dropped to a pretty low place, then I stabilized to a spot that I’d say is usually pretty positive with occasional forays into the dark place.
Now that I’m generally stable, I have felt much more able to participate in exercise and other forms of self-care and support. I was so low before that I couldn’t even bear to move from my place on the floor in front of the computer!
[I sit, cross-legged on the floor, with my laptop on a tray, in case you wondered.]

One of the best ways that I’ve found to re-energize myself and slowly get myself back into regular exercise has been to re-embrace yoga. When I’m in need of a quick pick-me-up or an energy burst, I do sun salutations. Yesterday, I did five rounds of those, plus some basic stretching and cat-cows. I forgot how difficult it can be to go to sleep after yoga… I should plan to do that earlier, next time!

Another helpful addition to my life has been my exploration of kombucha tea. My fantastic friend Cassidy sent me a kombucha pellicle [or SCOBY i.e. Symbiotic Colony of Bacteria and Yeast] and I’ve been making my own tea for the past couple of weeks. I can’t take much at once, because the taste is great but the smell is… a bit weird for my sensitive nose. I have to become acclimated to it before I can take more. I have this problem with vinegar, too, although I love love love it.

More fresh vegetables and fruit and whole grains have been a great addition. I already ate very well – organic, local when possible, veg*n – but I’ve really knocked out most snack foods and the processed stuff mostly is wheatmeats/tofus, cereal, soymilk. I make a lot of banana smoothies.

And of course, the Morning Pages have been helpful. I find that they clear my head and keep my stress down. I wish I was a bit more regular with them, but it’ll come. It takes a while to make something a habit, right? The trick is that I’m *doing* it, so that’s good enough for me for now.

Oh yes. I’ve found that some of the more negative attitudes, acquaintances, books, and music – I have no tolerance for being around them anymore. I’m always here for the friends with tough times, but people who don’t learn from their unhappiness and like to spread it – gone. Music with negative, sad, or darker overtones hasn’t appealed at all. Books and movies with a negative edge – no time for that right now. I need to look toward positive things while I heal.

So tell me, what do you do to nurture yourself? How did you rise from any dark times in your life? What makes you smile?

I write, as openly as possible, about my experiences with life, love, creativity, depression and not-depression. I share opinions. I promote compassion and change. I talk about music. I also write poetry and short stories. I like to share them here.

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