lyrics tonight from The Damned [Street of Dreams]
Life’s a funny thing. Try to get something done, and obstacles often arise. And then, even while these obstacles show themselves, there will be messages from the Universe to keep on with the work – even if it is just *thinking* about your path.
In clearer terms, I’ve been a bit slack about my Artist’s Way posts, or any posts at all. Partially I can blame it on a lack of reliable internet access for a while – now resolved, yay! – and I can also point to a slump in my own energy and drive that I can easily map to my hormonal ups and downs. In other other words, I was depressed and lethargic, y’all. However, I’m on the other side of that for now, and I’m trying to catch up on some of the work that I let fall to the side while I wasn’t mentally in a place to work on it.
I *have* been doing some of the work in my morning pages, and via some art… I’d like to at least scan in some of the things I’ve done and post them. I also have some thoughts about why I’m so attracted to keys and what they represent to me that I’d like to transcribe at some point – this is all tied to my exploration about the safety in “being a failure” or at least perceiving oneself as one.
Some Chapter 8 exercise work:
Name your dream.
In a perfect world, I would secretly [or not so secretly] love to be a *writer/novelist.*
Name one concrete goal that signals to you its accomplishment. On your emotional compass, this goal signifies True North.
One concrete goal would be to have a story published by a respected publisher or magazine. To me, this would signal success and a tangible artifact that my work and words are respected.
In a perfect world, where would I like to be in five years in relation to my dream and True North?
I would like to have my writing sought out by various editors for their publications.
In the world we inhabit now, what action can I take, this year, to move me closer?
I can submit my work to appropriate publishers, and put it into the sight of those who can move my visibility to the public eye via “real” publishing.
What action can I take this month? This week? This day? Right now?
This month: Submit some short writing to online and small-press type ‘zines.
This week: make sure to write something here at my blog that is fiction-based and entirely for pleasure.
This day: go through some of my older writing and create a more updated and “mature” writing folder.
Right now: believe in myself.
Some background for y’all who might not know: I’ve been writing stories since I could write. I used to write and illustrate stories and make them into little books for my Mom, and I’ve been keeping journals for a really long time, which I’ve filled with thoughts, observations, poetry, and stories. I’ve never ever finished a novel-length story… I give up, every time. I don’t know what the block is, exactly, but I suspect that I stop believing in myself and my ability. I even started publishing one that I was writing, via LiveJournal, and stopped because I felt vulnerable.
I also spent a lot of time in the 90s making ‘zines, filled with short stories and poetry and interviews and reviews and photos and art – pretty much everything that I love. I enjoyed that very much, but it seems that a lot of the people who really liked those things moved to online ventures, and ‘zines are so not-environmentally-friendly, either. I tried moving it to an online venue, but didn’t like keeping it updated… and with the amount of change going on in my life at that point, it was pretty difficult to keep up with it. My focus and interests have changed since then to a great degree, anyway, so anything I’d do now, I’d want to be very different from what I used to do.
I constantly have characters in my head, and ideas for stories. What I don’t have are the endings for these tales, just the bare bones of what the story’s about. For those of you who write, is that normal? It scares me; yet another reason why my last online storytelling went awry. I think starting smaller is the way to go, there – I’ve always been fine with short stories in that way.
I actually feel pretty vulnerable talking about this here, which I suppose means that I’m doing the right thing by talking about it, right? The truth will set you free, and free is where I want to be.