by Xiane

Finding faith and common ground the best that they were able

December 25, 2008 in Uncategorized by Xiane

snowflake
Image by Muffet via Flickr

So the Christians and the Pagans sat together at the table
Finding faith and common ground the best that they were able
And where does magic come from, I think magic’s in the learning
Cause now when Christians sit with Pagans only pumpkin pies are burning

Dar Williams [The Christians and the Pagans]

No matter what you believe
No matter where you are
No matter if you think that you’ve been good or bad
No matter if you hate the holidays, or embrace them happily:

I wish for you Peace
Happiness
Love.

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by Xiane

livejournal cross-post test

December 23, 2008 in Uncategorized by Xiane

Christmas #26
Image by kevindooley via Flickr

Just a test to see if my cross-platform posting is working. Feel free to comment here if this works!

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by Xiane

I’m looking for something beautiful – I'm looking for a sign

December 21, 2008 in Uncategorized by Xiane

lyrics from Virgin Prunes [true life story]

It isn’t every day that I get tagged for a meme, but the delightful June Shin charged me with the fun task of following her insightful answers in this one, and I’m just now getting around to filling out my replies. This is a good way for those who might not know so much about me to learn a bit more!

10 years ago I was working as a customer service rep for Upline Publishing, a company that serviced the ever-controversial MLM industry with a monthly journal and industry-geared books and tools. It was a unique insight into what drives the Multi-Level Marketing phenomenon – and an in-depth education on how to convince people to put their hearts into a business, overcoming their objections [and often common sense] to get them to invest their money and time into an often questionable career.

It was a good time for me, financially, as I had great pay, benefits, and leeway to work on my projects while using company equipment. I also had the opportunity to travel and meet people from all over the world. When it finally imploded, it was an ugly 6 months of lingering on at the office until everyone was gone, but it was great while it lasted.

I was writing ‘zines and poetry and I even did some poetry readings at a local coffeeshop in Charlottesville VA, the Mudhouse. I spent a lot of time going out to eat with friends, hiking in the woods, playing with my cats, and avoiding the heartbreak going on in my relationship. Near the end, I started The Violet Dawning with my friend Tank, and we played some small events in our practice space.

8 years ago things were changing for me. I’d started working the door at The Dawning – the weekly Goth/Industrial night in C’ville – as well as regularly playing there with my band. Eventually, I’d take over running the night, booking the bands, and DJing there… and then, taking over the weekly Goth radio show, Subculture Shock, firmly cementing my love of being an on-air DJ. Before that happened, I went up and down in my relationship with Stu, started working at Revolutionary Soup, and went to a LOT of parties.

6 years ago I was running The Dawning with Liam, feeling very put-upon with the notoriety that came with that job, drinking too much, being too stressed out. Hung out constantly with Liam, TheChad, Navy Boy Dan… we spent a LOT of time going to clubs and shows, dancing, drinking, doing guest DJ sets. I’d say I was busy playing the rockstar that year, but it didn’t make me very happy.

Switched jobs halfway through the year from working at RevSoup to working at Coyote, which was the coveted job in town for the rockstar types, as it started late, was run by a friend and hence was super laid-back, and sold lots of interesting things like bondage belts and hairdye. Still dating Stu, though things were continuing to be see-saw-a-riffic. First instances of Vomitus started that year.

2 years ago … I got married to the most amazing man ever, my beloved Rob. My entire life changed, as I moved down here to ol’ Shelby NC, away from my sizeable network of friends and into a completely different life than I’d known. Decided that, after surveying the job opportunites in the area, that it was time for me to open my own business full-time, and Rob agreed to help me with that. Got the ever-delightful Squeegee Cat from the local Humane Society and decided that our household was complete. ♥

5 yummy things:

  1. soy lattes or mochas
  2. vegan pinapple upside down cupcakes
  3. barbeque tempeh
  4. mango ANYTHING
  5. sweet potato mash with sauteed kale

5 places I would like to escape to:

  1. the beach, preferably one that’s deserted
  2. a creek in the Blue Ridge mountains
  3. Ireland
  4. Thailand or somewhere in Indonesia
  5. someplace where I can get pampered for a weekend, like a spa retreat

5 things that I would NEVER wear:

  1. high heels
  2. fur
  3. a thong
  4. a unitard
  5. assless chaps :D

5 favourite TV shows:

  1. LOST
  2. Heroes
  3. Iron Chef America
  4. Good Eats
  5. Damages

5 things that I enjoy doing:

  1. yoga
  2. knitting
  3. dancing
  4. singing
  5. creating/crafting

5 favourite toys:

…uh, everything I use is both for work and a “toy” in that way that it entertains me. So I’d say my laptop, my Mini-Disc camera, my Helio, my Holga, plus all the actual toys that I have scattered about. :D

☞  I’m not tagging anyone, but if you decide to play, will you let me know in a comment, so that I can read your responses? Thank you! And thanks to June for the tag!  :)

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by Xiane

but it's time to crush this feeling as soon as it rains

December 17, 2008 in Uncategorized by Xiane

lyrics from Tones On Tail [rain]

Everyone has a Dad [or several], but that doesn’t mean that the man who donated his genes is going to be very good at the role.

I’ve had two. One – the gene donor – I only knew for the first two years of my life. The other is my Stepdad, whom I’ve written a bit about here before, and I’d like to not dwell on at this point.

Turns out that I’m fairly assured that they’re both dead, now. Thanks, Google.

Paul was a Navy man, and he dragged my Mom around a bit after I was born, leaving her in a pretty precarious position, financially. She’s told me stories about how hungry we were, how tough those times were. What sort of man does this? Well, the sort of man who, when his Mother-In-Law takes in his wife and child and offers to support them as long as he disappears from their life… takes her up on the offer, then never ever contacts his child or sends support for the rest of his life.

I’m hoping that you were a better father to your other daughter [my half-sister that I didn’t even know about] and your stepdaughter than you were to me, Paul.

I hope you were loyal to your wife and your family. I hope you lavished them with the love that you professed to me and my Mother but never made good on after my second birthday.

I hope that you know that despite your lack of follow-through with me, I am doing really well. I managed and I’m strong and although I feel really weird to know that you’re gone and you never came back into my life, I’ll be just fine.

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by Xiane

Remember, I was vapour

December 11, 2008 in Uncategorized by Xiane

Remember, I was just like you

Remember, I was just like you

So what’s the verdict from the Good Doc Naz? She thinks I have an IBS situation – which is what is making my stomach hurt, plus the occasional vomitus – which is brought on by stress and anxiety. We’re going to watch things, but I went home with a bunch of meds, which if you know me, just thrilled me to no end. [/sarcasm]

What am I laden with, you ask? Nexium to take in the short run, just to reduce the amount of acid I’ve got going on in the belly and help keep the vomiting reflux down… Levsin for the stomach cramps when they get riled up… and Ativan to take before Big Events, to reduce the stress. I’m only to take a quarter to half of one of those, which is good, as I’m super sensitive to stuff like that, since I never take anything like downers. O_o

For those keeping count, that’s 3 pills daily plus two “emergency” pills. Pills pills pills pills pills. I just want to feel better. *sigh*

Other things I’m looking at are diet – of course, because nothing is ever easy when it comes to food and me – and even more things to regulate my stress levels. I see more yoga in my future, which isn’t a bad thing.

I just want to be well.

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by Xiane

The light of hope shines in your eyes

December 9, 2008 in Uncategorized by Xiane

…Dementia has gone, purged from inside. [Dead Can Dance – advent]

I’ve been sick since right before Thanksgiving. If you know me, you know that I get sick to my stomach quite a bit. For a while, I suffered from something known variously as “CVS” – Cyclical Vomiting Syndrome [syndrome because they don’t know what causes it] or “Stomach Migraine.” Yes, it is just as gross and painful as it sounds. It lasted for a long time, with attacks mostly correlating with my stress levels, and eventually slacked off to the point that I only rarely get attacks these days.

However, since the Saturday before T-day, I’ve felt like lukewarm ass, with barely a break from having icky feelings every evening. The worse was right before my scheduled show at The Big Crafty in Asheville, where I ended up huggin’ the toilet and missing a craft show I was scheduled to be in for the very first time. :/

I could write that up to the stress = sick phenom, but this whole thing has been pretty not-quite-the-norm, so I’m caving in and seeing the doctor on Wednesday. Meh. Hopefully we’ll find an answer, as Dr. Naz is usually great at that sort of thing for me.

I’m not letting it get me down, however! I have been working on a new knit hat – the kitty-eared hat from Stitch n’ Bitch – and I got to see my Monkey-Sis and Ms. 155Metrocard on Saturday, when Melissa and I ventured out to catch the double-bill bout of Charlotte Rollergirls Goodness. So all is not sickness and ew, huzzah! I’ve managed to make some new and amazingly fun friends via Twitter, and I’ve been trading up a storm with Etsy folk for some faboo swag that’s made my day every time I visit the mailbox. So see, not all so bad!

I promise that I’ll give an update as soon as I know something about what ills me. Keep yer fingers crossed, would you? ♥

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