We all need the security that belonging brings…*
This weekend, I went back to a place that I wasn’t sure that I’d ever visit again. Not a specific place, exactly – but a kind of conceptual one.
I had a lovely weekend visit from Kristyne and Jay, with our goal being – besides enjoying our time together – to go revisit dear ol’ blighty… I mean, check out the monthly goth/industrial night in Charlotte, Return Of The Bats. Just in case you don’t know, I haven’t been out to *any* club/bar since… Cirque Macabre in Raleigh, 2007.
There’s a couple of reasons for this. One, and most important – my respiratory system has been b0rken for quite some time. It was a serious problem back when I was doing The Dawning, but I sucked it up and just felt terrible for the following Sunday and Monday every week, for much too long. During Cryptkicker, it was getting pretty bad, to the point that I knew that I really needed to keep myself out of those environments for my own good. But it took having to stay in a smoking-allowed hotel room for a weekend when I was already suffering from bronchitis to pretty much smack sense into my head. After that came the failed attempt at the “methacholine challenge” – basically, my lungs were so weak that they couldn’t risk giving me the the methacholine. Eeek! Obviously, after that, sacrificing going out into smoky environments seemed for the best.
Another reason for not going out to the clubs is… well, burnout. I mean, when you DJ every weekend, plus go to other clubs for fun and socializing, eventually you just get kinda… blase. It’s the same songs, the same clothes, the same lights and smells and everything. Even if the crowds are different and the nights vary in satisfaction, eventually it all blurs. How sad is that? I knew it was time for me to step away until I could re-appreciate something that used to bring me a lot of joy.
ROTB was definitely a lot of fun. I met some new folks who were quite lovely, got to see some Charlotte people that I never see enough of, and had a smashing time with K & J, the most wonderful friends in the world. I didn’t get to dance enough, because of the smoke, and I would have liked that. I probably would benefit from showing early and leaving earlier – both because I usually like the more obscure tunes [I could go another long stretch w/o hearing Headhunter again] and because the smoke is less prevalent in the early part of the evening. I don’t need alcohol to fuel my dancing, which is good, since I don’t drink anymore! I just don’t know if I can go every month, because my lungs might not agree.
Of course, I could always buy a cheap disco light, make my own playlist, and have an impromptu dance night in my apartment when I can’t make it out. Ha! There wouldn’t be fun people to talk to, but at least I could dance and breathe. 😉
Anyway… You can’t go home again, but sometimes you can visit. I had some other points here that I wanted to make, but I’ll be damned if I can remember them right now. Ha!
* Joy Division [novelty]