no economic success to get the total job

Am I defined by what I do? Or do I get to make the definitions?

There are times when I miss the appeal
Energy that pulls us toward it
To feel the total job

I will never crave that sort of job, the type that consumes your life in favor of someone else’s success. I never have. It’s not just because I’m the sort of rebel that doesn’t like to be told what to do, especially when the payoff is dimly defined. I have always had *dreams* – carving my own paths in whatever the career I obsessed over at any given time.

This is why, even as I worked for other people to pay the bills – and quite often managed to have “cool” jobs, too – I still worked on my own business ideas. Making things that I believed in… adding my energy to a world of clubs and DJing… and now my Fibery biz is in the black green. [I like Green better. It has better symbolic value to me.] That’s a fabulous, remarkable thing.

But my question is this: is this all that there is? [of course not]
I don’t want to be defined by my business. I am many things:

  • a writer
  • a singer
  • a dreamer
  • an artist
  • a lover

So many more things, too. That’s the reason that I have this blog as well as the one on Threeravens. It’s about the inner me, and the other things I love. It’s about the stuff that makes me look inside, and the things I see all around me. It’s about sharing the things that I’ve done and the mistakes and discoveries I’ve made – both so that you can know me, and so that you can maybe know that you’re not the only one.
You know… that you’re not the only small light in the darkness.
We’re a Universe of small lights, shining out across the distances, sharing our experiences through the flashes of who we are.

Economic success does not define me. My depression does not define me. Nor my age, sexual identity, skin color, clothing, location, language. All these things are a part of me, but never the sum of the whole. You’ve got to get in deep to get all of me. But I’m inviting you in, because I suspect that my inner self will resonate with parts of yours.

I write, as openly as possible, about my experiences with life, love, creativity, depression and not-depression. I share opinions. I promote compassion and change. I talk about music. I also write poetry and short stories. I like to share them here.

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