[blog title: More by Sisters of Mercy]
It’s no big secret if you’ve been with me for a while – I get anxious. Anxiety is ALL about fear, generally of the unknown, the big “what if?”
What if I say the wrong thing?
What if they laugh at me?
What if I hurt her feelings?
What if I ruin everything forever?
It’s all about the same thing, even the ones that worry about my effects on other people.
WHAT IF I GET HURT?
I’m borrowing pain from the future, a future that might not even exist.
I’m shaping my actions around the premise that I’m going to get hurt, and all too often that leads to inaction and losing out on things that had the potential to be good, because I was too afraid of the possibility that not getting it/making it happen would hurt worse. Basically, it leaves me the choices of living in stasis or letting things only ever happen TO me, rather than making choices, because that way it’s the fault of Fate, not me. At least I can avoid the extra helping of guilt if Fate is to blame.
And the saddest thing is that either way, I suffer – because I don’t even get the chance of the good outcomes, when I deny all outcomes.
Fear is such a big part of all of our lives. It is often the underlying character in our decisions and behaviors. Fear can be a really great tool, and an amazing way to let you know that something might be worth doing. Get yourself on the other side of fear, what do you think you might find?
I read this from Alexis today and it really struck home. Too, too many opportunities lost when fear is used as a cushion to keep me from harm instead of an signal to pay attention, maybe this is worth a risk. Maybe the reason I’m afraid is because there’s the potential for an amazing payoff on the other side?