Let me hold you tight and arms tight and arms you lost your chance/Come so close that I might see the crash of light come down on me

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Forty nine years of life and I still have so much to learn. I am full of flaws but also the best of intentions, I swear.

My self-doubt is my biggest flaw. I have sabotaged beautiful things because I couldn’t just stop thinking I was messing up so bad that I became a self-fulfilling prophecy. And then I second guess all my interactions because of that fear that gets reinforced by the letdowns of the past.

 

No more. I can change this.

I’ve been working so hard to reprogram these thoughts to be constructive, positive – and to trust that taking action towards what I want is much more effective than talking myself out of it.

No more self-fulfilling prophecies anymore, Xiane. You’ve got this.

 

*lyrics from Mazzy Star, So Tonight That I Might See

I write, as openly as possible, about my experiences with life, love, creativity, depression and not-depression. I share opinions. I promote compassion and change. I talk about music. I also write poetry and short stories. I like to share them here.

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